The Marriage Season
Though I have nothing against marriage, yet the very thought of certain compulsions irk me to no end. Take for instance, you have to share your bed….that too for unknown period. To have a companion over the weekend or for a night is different but to wake up looking at the make-up lost face can be pretty terrifying and emotionally and mentally harmful, if seen for a prolonged period. Then comes the issue of the toilet. All the HAGU ma’s and Bari Jabo syndrome holders will be sharing the same toilet. How hygienic were the good old days when you carried the mug to the nearest field and returned to the bountiful Mother Nature what was legitimately hers. But after marriage, please be prepared to walk in to the toilet to discover the left over of the previous night’s delicious dinner floating and obnoxiously staring at you. Marriage also takes away your privacy in bed. Of-course I am NOT talking of sex. I am talking about emitting foul smelling gas. Though the smell is directly proportional to the last consumed meal, please remember that you have propriety right on the smell (even if it changes) and anyone else smelling it should not reproduce the same smell.
Keeping all these in mind, doubts pertaining to divorces are erased from my mind. By the time one is 23 Bong moms get hyper to get their daughter married. Well, mom who has a son does not lag behind. A prominent Calcutta club, patronised by mostly bong GHATER MORAS (on the verge of kicking the bucket) is the breeding ground for prospective matchmaking. One should see all the pishi mas and mashi mas (paternal & maternal aunts) resplendent in their ugliest of ugly saris with antiquated matching jewellery and mouthful of paan and jarda pondering over bio-data (from memory, as those kids formed part of their previous PNPC sessions) of innocent children to be nailed down.
I remember being part of one session a few years back. In hindsight it was hilarious. The girl’s mother, quite imposing because of her girth and height told her beautiful daughter (thankfully the beauty came from the grand mothers) that she has to meet someone with proven pedigree. The daughter was aghast for she thought her darling and ever-eager mother was getting her married off to some DOG. After much cajoling (and arm twisting by her mother…I think she fractured a few bones, in the process) she arrived in the hot-spot verandah of the club. The to be groom is a friend of mine and who due to peer and parent pressure has become of the most celebrated indecisive boy of our generation. He is a thorough gentleman and no pun intended. He has an equally imposing mother and by the end of the session both Ms. and Mr. were dog tired and embarrassed. I believe the mother of Mr. is still looking for a prospective demure bride. She was found inquiring about the pretty daughter of a prominent bengali industrialist. As for the mother, grandmothers and aunt of Ms., please read on.
The mother of Ms. is a desperate lady. O you sinful people with dirty mind…she is NOT desperate that way, but is desperately looking for a SIL. In exuberance to get the beautiful Ms. married, she was considering the proposal of getting Ms. married to a trade union leader’s nephew. So what even our present FM was a trade union leader at one point of time. But this trade union leader from Calcutta is known for his ability to lie. Dumb people LIE as not to tell what is not true but LIE as in LAY. My dear 9th floor friend, please do not squirm with jealousy for this man lie on the road to halt traffic. I sympathise with you Ms. One fine afternoon, the aunt of Ms. called me (she was about to board her flight) to find out about this “smart and intelligent” LOOKING business news channel anchor. Mind you her aunt was clueless about the boy, but decided to inquire for prospective matchmaking because she and Ms. mother liked him. I think they were interested because of their hidden love for him. The other day while speaking to Ms. grandmother, I was asked to provide information about a certain kiddo who is a practising (keep guessing….I will NOT divulge). I was quite stumped when asked about his year of birth. I stammered and stuttered most apologetically and gave her a certain year. I received a rather rude call from Ms. mother, informing me that my information pertaining to the kiddo’s year of birth was incorrect and that they were crestfallen. I recommend Lady of Girth and Mirth to please consult a certain lady in the club who resembles (pardon my language, dear readers) a bulldog.
But it is not only about prospective matchmaking that is quite tiresome, my chance meeting with a friend’s mother and mother in law (SAME LADY) was quite draining. I spoke to her …correction listened to her for about 15 minutes and out of which she praised her son in law for 13 minutes. Even the boy’s mother never spoke so eloquently about her son….it is quite challenging to have a MIL like his. I wonder what he does, when she actually visits them….and I am told that happens at regular intervals. No respite from MIL even abroad.
I just hope that the mother of Ms. does not read this….AMEN
Wednesday, December 20, 2006
Monday, December 18, 2006
Hibernating
Hibernating
Of-course not. I have been completely tied up, hence the delay. All of you can now leave your comments on the blog site and you do not have to have an id.
Let me start by updating the happenings at the recent do in Calcutta. And mind you it WAS HAPPENING. My friend who got married four months back decided to entertain his friends in style. He organized a boat party, though I am sure he would have loved to take all of us in the national carrier, which he flies with élan. I am NOT talking about KITES…though he was expected to fly that by an erudite gentle-lady on Lee Road. The boat party was great fun…to see friends drunk yet not falling into the Hooghly. How unfortunate. My hashi-khushi friend was drunk as usual but thankfully did not create any nuisance. No, hold on, he was sitting next to a flier who is associated with “fly the good times” and was constantly eyeing him but I can assure nothing transpired. Talking about this FLIER, my wannabe actress friend was completely smitten by him…more about that later.
For better part of the evening on the boat, I saw my ex morning walk companion fixed to a pretty dame. She must have had an over dose of him…the next day she did not venture anywhere near him. My dear ex morning walk companion, do contemplate as to why birds in skirts are not sitting on your lap for too long and flies away at the first available opportunity. Meeting old friends has its own unexplainable charm and more so when I bumped into my 9th floor friend in Cal. I have to dedicate an entire para to him.
By the time we hit the shore, there were quite a few who did not know what was going on. Hashi-khushi sped away with Mr. 9th floor running after him, my wannabe actress friend misplacing my mobile in her exuberance to take control of the situation, a friend walking up to my friend’s house groping in the dark while her mother threw a fit seeing him. Mr. Parsee was dancing all the way to the car without anyone singing, The Cuckoo did not know which car to take, as Mr. FAKE Will Smith was busy with the firangs. Mr. Golu of School told his wife that he drinks only when he is with his friends…translated “WE ARE SPOILING HIM”, Mr. Fat Turned Slim lost in his own world…whether to pick his wife for the after party or not, Mr. Footballer sporadically shouting in an alien language (sounded like German), Mr. 9th floor adding to all the confusion.
The theme of the evening was WATER. For the after party we went to a poolside pub and my dear readers you should have been there to see Mr. 9th floor in his element. He hugged and smiled at everyone, dropped his drink thrice (the hotel uses cheap plastic glass) and fell flat on his face. He was SMASHED. He wanted to eat at the coffee shop, but we took him to the most up-market restaurant at 4 am for his chicken bharta. I happily left the scene of party at 2 pm to drop dear FRIENDS alongwith wannabe actress, but had to return to the venue because my darling wannabe actress friend wanted to meet the FLIER again. She has a fascination for chengra looking men, though she insists that he lips are like SRK’s. I reserve my comment. Just for the record, both hashi-khushi and wannabe actress have one thing in common – both love CHENGRA MEN!
I will write more on the eventful Cal trip later, but for the moment let me sign off with some news on the agencies front. A dear friend has joined a new agency in the central part of the city. Congrats darling, please spend more time in the office than in the market across the road. Another dear friend from my ex ex ex office (I hope to have got that right!) has put in her papers….I am so happy for I know her next destination. All the best sweetheart. The four ft something is freaking out in the Jaggery Village…the tall balding partner of her agency asked her “How is the weather down there”? There are going to be some more people movements and some of the agencies are going to lose a few good professionals. Ofcourse to each his own, but then there are those who have never seen the world loves to be cocooned in their nests and speak ill of others. Oh by the way, Ms. Revealer, I am told you are dressing rather appropriately these days! I know there’s no one interesting to dress so less
So long
Of-course not. I have been completely tied up, hence the delay. All of you can now leave your comments on the blog site and you do not have to have an id.
Let me start by updating the happenings at the recent do in Calcutta. And mind you it WAS HAPPENING. My friend who got married four months back decided to entertain his friends in style. He organized a boat party, though I am sure he would have loved to take all of us in the national carrier, which he flies with élan. I am NOT talking about KITES…though he was expected to fly that by an erudite gentle-lady on Lee Road. The boat party was great fun…to see friends drunk yet not falling into the Hooghly. How unfortunate. My hashi-khushi friend was drunk as usual but thankfully did not create any nuisance. No, hold on, he was sitting next to a flier who is associated with “fly the good times” and was constantly eyeing him but I can assure nothing transpired. Talking about this FLIER, my wannabe actress friend was completely smitten by him…more about that later.
For better part of the evening on the boat, I saw my ex morning walk companion fixed to a pretty dame. She must have had an over dose of him…the next day she did not venture anywhere near him. My dear ex morning walk companion, do contemplate as to why birds in skirts are not sitting on your lap for too long and flies away at the first available opportunity. Meeting old friends has its own unexplainable charm and more so when I bumped into my 9th floor friend in Cal. I have to dedicate an entire para to him.
By the time we hit the shore, there were quite a few who did not know what was going on. Hashi-khushi sped away with Mr. 9th floor running after him, my wannabe actress friend misplacing my mobile in her exuberance to take control of the situation, a friend walking up to my friend’s house groping in the dark while her mother threw a fit seeing him. Mr. Parsee was dancing all the way to the car without anyone singing, The Cuckoo did not know which car to take, as Mr. FAKE Will Smith was busy with the firangs. Mr. Golu of School told his wife that he drinks only when he is with his friends…translated “WE ARE SPOILING HIM”, Mr. Fat Turned Slim lost in his own world…whether to pick his wife for the after party or not, Mr. Footballer sporadically shouting in an alien language (sounded like German), Mr. 9th floor adding to all the confusion.
The theme of the evening was WATER. For the after party we went to a poolside pub and my dear readers you should have been there to see Mr. 9th floor in his element. He hugged and smiled at everyone, dropped his drink thrice (the hotel uses cheap plastic glass) and fell flat on his face. He was SMASHED. He wanted to eat at the coffee shop, but we took him to the most up-market restaurant at 4 am for his chicken bharta. I happily left the scene of party at 2 pm to drop dear FRIENDS alongwith wannabe actress, but had to return to the venue because my darling wannabe actress friend wanted to meet the FLIER again. She has a fascination for chengra looking men, though she insists that he lips are like SRK’s. I reserve my comment. Just for the record, both hashi-khushi and wannabe actress have one thing in common – both love CHENGRA MEN!
I will write more on the eventful Cal trip later, but for the moment let me sign off with some news on the agencies front. A dear friend has joined a new agency in the central part of the city. Congrats darling, please spend more time in the office than in the market across the road. Another dear friend from my ex ex ex office (I hope to have got that right!) has put in her papers….I am so happy for I know her next destination. All the best sweetheart. The four ft something is freaking out in the Jaggery Village…the tall balding partner of her agency asked her “How is the weather down there”? There are going to be some more people movements and some of the agencies are going to lose a few good professionals. Ofcourse to each his own, but then there are those who have never seen the world loves to be cocooned in their nests and speak ill of others. Oh by the way, Ms. Revealer, I am told you are dressing rather appropriately these days! I know there’s no one interesting to dress so less
So long
Hibernating
Hibernating
Of-course not. I have been completely tied up, hence the delay. All of you can now leave your comments on the blog site and you do not have to have an id.
Let me start by updating the happenings at the recent do in Calcutta. And mind you it WAS HAPPENING. My friend who got married four months back decided to entertain his friends in style. He organized a boat party, though I am sure he would have loved to take all of us in the national carrier, which he flies with élan. I am NOT talking about KITES…though he was expected to fly that by an erudite gentle-lady on Lee Road. The boat party was great fun…to see friends drunk yet not falling into the Hooghly. How unfortunate. My hashi-khushi friend was drunk as usual but thankfully did not create any nuisance. No, hold on, he was sitting next to a flier who is associated with “fly the good times” and was constantly eyeing him but I can assure nothing transpired. Talking about this FLIER, my wannabe actress friend was completely smitten by him…more about that later.
For better part of the evening on the boat, I saw my ex morning walk companion fixed to a pretty dame. She must have had an over dose of him…the next day she did not venture anywhere near him. My dear ex morning walk companion, do contemplate as to why birds in skirts are not sitting on your lap for too long and flies away at the first available opportunity. Meeting old friends has its own unexplainable charm and more so when I bumped into my 9th floor friend in Cal. I have to dedicate an entire para to him.
By the time we hit the shore, there were quite a few who did not know what was going on. Hashi-khushi sped away with Mr. 9th floor running after him, my wannabe actress friend misplacing my mobile in her exuberance to take control of the situation, a friend walking up to my friend’s house groping in the dark while her mother threw a fit seeing him. Mr. Parsee was dancing all the way to the car without anyone singing, The Cuckoo did not know which car to take, as Mr. FAKE Will Smith was busy with the firangs. Mr. Golu of School told his wife that he drinks only when he is with his friends…translated “WE ARE SPOILING HIM”, Mr. Fat Turned Slim lost in his own world…whether to pick his wife for the after party or not, Mr. Footballer sporadically shouting in an alien language (sounded like German), Mr. 9th floor adding to all the confusion.
The theme of the evening was WATER. For the after party we went to a poolside pub and my dear readers you should have been there to see Mr. 9th floor in his element. He hugged and smiled at everyone, dropped his drink thrice (the hotel uses cheap plastic glass) and fell flat on his face. He was SMASHED. He wanted to eat at the coffee shop, but we took him to the most up-market restaurant at 4 am for his chicken bharta. I happily left the scene of party at 2 pm to drop dear FRIENDS alongwith wannabe actress, but had to return to the venue because my darling wannabe actress friend wanted to meet the FLIER again. She has a fascination for chengra looking men, though she insists that he lips are like SRK’s. I reserve my comment. Just for the record, both hashi-khushi and wannabe actress have one thing in common – both love CHENGRA MEN!
I will write more on the eventful Cal trip later, but for the moment let me sign off with some news on the agencies front. A dear friend has joined a new agency in the central part of the city. Congrats darling, please spend more time in the office than in the market across the road. Another dear friend from my ex ex ex office (I hope to have got that right!) has put in her papers….I am so happy for I know her next destination. All the best sweetheart. The four ft something is freaking out in the Jaggery Village…the tall balding partner of her agency asked her “How is the weather down there”? There are going to be some more people movements and some of the agencies are going to lose a few good professionals. Ofcourse to each his own, but then there are those who have never seen the world loves to be cocooned in their nests and speak ill of others. Oh by the way, Ms. Revealer, I am told you are dressing rather appropriately these days! I know there’s no one interesting to dress so less
So long
Of-course not. I have been completely tied up, hence the delay. All of you can now leave your comments on the blog site and you do not have to have an id.
Let me start by updating the happenings at the recent do in Calcutta. And mind you it WAS HAPPENING. My friend who got married four months back decided to entertain his friends in style. He organized a boat party, though I am sure he would have loved to take all of us in the national carrier, which he flies with élan. I am NOT talking about KITES…though he was expected to fly that by an erudite gentle-lady on Lee Road. The boat party was great fun…to see friends drunk yet not falling into the Hooghly. How unfortunate. My hashi-khushi friend was drunk as usual but thankfully did not create any nuisance. No, hold on, he was sitting next to a flier who is associated with “fly the good times” and was constantly eyeing him but I can assure nothing transpired. Talking about this FLIER, my wannabe actress friend was completely smitten by him…more about that later.
For better part of the evening on the boat, I saw my ex morning walk companion fixed to a pretty dame. She must have had an over dose of him…the next day she did not venture anywhere near him. My dear ex morning walk companion, do contemplate as to why birds in skirts are not sitting on your lap for too long and flies away at the first available opportunity. Meeting old friends has its own unexplainable charm and more so when I bumped into my 9th floor friend in Cal. I have to dedicate an entire para to him.
By the time we hit the shore, there were quite a few who did not know what was going on. Hashi-khushi sped away with Mr. 9th floor running after him, my wannabe actress friend misplacing my mobile in her exuberance to take control of the situation, a friend walking up to my friend’s house groping in the dark while her mother threw a fit seeing him. Mr. Parsee was dancing all the way to the car without anyone singing, The Cuckoo did not know which car to take, as Mr. FAKE Will Smith was busy with the firangs. Mr. Golu of School told his wife that he drinks only when he is with his friends…translated “WE ARE SPOILING HIM”, Mr. Fat Turned Slim lost in his own world…whether to pick his wife for the after party or not, Mr. Footballer sporadically shouting in an alien language (sounded like German), Mr. 9th floor adding to all the confusion.
The theme of the evening was WATER. For the after party we went to a poolside pub and my dear readers you should have been there to see Mr. 9th floor in his element. He hugged and smiled at everyone, dropped his drink thrice (the hotel uses cheap plastic glass) and fell flat on his face. He was SMASHED. He wanted to eat at the coffee shop, but we took him to the most up-market restaurant at 4 am for his chicken bharta. I happily left the scene of party at 2 pm to drop dear FRIENDS alongwith wannabe actress, but had to return to the venue because my darling wannabe actress friend wanted to meet the FLIER again. She has a fascination for chengra looking men, though she insists that he lips are like SRK’s. I reserve my comment. Just for the record, both hashi-khushi and wannabe actress have one thing in common – both love CHENGRA MEN!
I will write more on the eventful Cal trip later, but for the moment let me sign off with some news on the agencies front. A dear friend has joined a new agency in the central part of the city. Congrats darling, please spend more time in the office than in the market across the road. Another dear friend from my ex ex ex office (I hope to have got that right!) has put in her papers….I am so happy for I know her next destination. All the best sweetheart. The four ft something is freaking out in the Jaggery Village…the tall balding partner of her agency asked her “How is the weather down there”? There are going to be some more people movements and some of the agencies are going to lose a few good professionals. Ofcourse to each his own, but then there are those who have never seen the world loves to be cocooned in their nests and speak ill of others. Oh by the way, Ms. Revealer, I am told you are dressing rather appropriately these days! I know there’s no one interesting to dress so less
So long
Monday, December 04, 2006
Marriage & Marriage
Marriage & Marriage
I am tired...period! No no, its not because I am overworked and underpaid, but because of never ending late-nights that I indulged in the whole of last week. Am I complaining? NO
A dear friend tied the knot last week. When I received the invites, it mentioned three dos...sangeet, wedding and reception. By the time sangeet got over, it was time for the (unscheduled) pre-wedding party. The sangeet was quite happening. The bride got delayed by over two hours, because we reached her place one hour behind schedule and then decided to indulge on some Serbian liqueur. Man that was potent. Did not get a chance to feel cold after that.
When I walked in for the wedding, maintaining a healthy Delhi standard time and Air India schedule time, I was amazed to see my svelte friend who defies every physical law under the sun. She is a mother of two but still looks 18. Hmmm, I am still young...atleast at heart. When alcohol is around, alcoholics cannot be too far away. A friend almost walked back home in his drunken stupor, while another crashed out in the wedding-night bed! The Honeymoon room of the hotel does not seem to encourage weddings. Or else, why will a honeymoon room have two single beds!
A clean shaven friend of mine has landed with a chef's role. Nothing wrong with that...his 15 minutes of fame is on the way. But he has started hallucinating already that he is the star of tomorrow. Yes WILL SMITH get that notion out from your shaven head!
I was in the east coast for a couple of days, again to attend a wedding. But what I enjoyed the most was dining with a multi-talented (actress / director / producer / prop supplier / accountant / driver / health freak...cannot count any more) friend. We caught up on the missing links (NO FAMILY!) of "female dogging" about friends. Thereafter I went clubbing...please ignore my age. Needless to say, more than anything else, I enjoyed the company.
A junior from school and once-upon-a-time friend got engaged to film hero on Sunday. In our illustrious list of who's who, we have added another member. Welcome to the elite club, Mr. K and my best wishes to both of you. Speaking about engagement, I, by chance spoke to my 9th floor friend's ex girl-friend. The little brat did not tell his ex that he was married and now living with his brother-in-law. Oh God, you naughty readers, he is not "living" with his brother-in-law...they just share the same flat...amongst other things!
Back in the capital, I have been receiving congratulatory and best of luck calls...and that too on Sunday. Catching up with a four feet tall friend and treating her to hot chocolate fudge did make me feel like a grandfather. She jumped at the ice-cream counter five times to see the flavour of ice-cream! Grow up, darling.
The lady who regarded me as her "rakhel" is coming to Delhi tomorrow. Aaaaaaaahhhhhhh "Life's Beautiful"...and filled with lust. Amen
I am tired...period! No no, its not because I am overworked and underpaid, but because of never ending late-nights that I indulged in the whole of last week. Am I complaining? NO
A dear friend tied the knot last week. When I received the invites, it mentioned three dos...sangeet, wedding and reception. By the time sangeet got over, it was time for the (unscheduled) pre-wedding party. The sangeet was quite happening. The bride got delayed by over two hours, because we reached her place one hour behind schedule and then decided to indulge on some Serbian liqueur. Man that was potent. Did not get a chance to feel cold after that.
When I walked in for the wedding, maintaining a healthy Delhi standard time and Air India schedule time, I was amazed to see my svelte friend who defies every physical law under the sun. She is a mother of two but still looks 18. Hmmm, I am still young...atleast at heart. When alcohol is around, alcoholics cannot be too far away. A friend almost walked back home in his drunken stupor, while another crashed out in the wedding-night bed! The Honeymoon room of the hotel does not seem to encourage weddings. Or else, why will a honeymoon room have two single beds!
A clean shaven friend of mine has landed with a chef's role. Nothing wrong with that...his 15 minutes of fame is on the way. But he has started hallucinating already that he is the star of tomorrow. Yes WILL SMITH get that notion out from your shaven head!
I was in the east coast for a couple of days, again to attend a wedding. But what I enjoyed the most was dining with a multi-talented (actress / director / producer / prop supplier / accountant / driver / health freak...cannot count any more) friend. We caught up on the missing links (NO FAMILY!) of "female dogging" about friends. Thereafter I went clubbing...please ignore my age. Needless to say, more than anything else, I enjoyed the company.
A junior from school and once-upon-a-time friend got engaged to film hero on Sunday. In our illustrious list of who's who, we have added another member. Welcome to the elite club, Mr. K and my best wishes to both of you. Speaking about engagement, I, by chance spoke to my 9th floor friend's ex girl-friend. The little brat did not tell his ex that he was married and now living with his brother-in-law. Oh God, you naughty readers, he is not "living" with his brother-in-law...they just share the same flat...amongst other things!
Back in the capital, I have been receiving congratulatory and best of luck calls...and that too on Sunday. Catching up with a four feet tall friend and treating her to hot chocolate fudge did make me feel like a grandfather. She jumped at the ice-cream counter five times to see the flavour of ice-cream! Grow up, darling.
The lady who regarded me as her "rakhel" is coming to Delhi tomorrow. Aaaaaaaahhhhhhh "Life's Beautiful"...and filled with lust. Amen
Tuesday, November 28, 2006
FETISH
FETISH
WHAT?!!! that was my reaction when my jaggery village, lonely soul friend informed me about her intention to be part of the "Horsy Thing". I understand that she is Ms. Lonely but that does not mean that out of sheer frustration you will decide to do "horsy thing". I did try to ask her about the stuff and she guided me to "our lives are open book - Orkut". I almost fainted, thankfully there was an oxygen cylinder at hand and I could revive my breathing. My wannabe actress friend from the East coast of India also wants to do the "horsy thing". And for the activity, they have chosen none another a naive, homo phobic north Indian guy. God be with him and it certainly will be his endurance test!!! My friend informed me that the date for the activity has been decided upon. It will take place on Christmas Eve. How Holy and unabashed my friends are! Well look at the bright side, my firends will be contributing to the reincarnation of Jesus Christ. Reminds me of Christmas carol..."Jesus Christ is coming to town". Hark Ho Angels!!!
My 9th floor friend tried his luck to get lucky once again. This time, he went to India Gate with a young bird in skirt. He bought her ice-cream and decided to go for a walk. By that time time his friend joined him and the young lady. But lo behold, my friend found himself isolated as his friend and the young lady disappeared behind the bush!!! Dont lose hope my friend, you can also have your "Horsy Thing"...when the time comes. For the time being play dark room dark room with MALES on Sunday evenings!
I am in august company these days. My paedophile hashikhusi friend is on the prowl again. Last night, he has zroed in on his next prey. But it is rather amusing to see him making the first move. His very characteristic behaviour made one of his prey get married within two months of his meeting.
There is not much on the agency front these days. i am getting hate calls and remove blog calls. So much so, an ex colleague has said that he is going to kill me the next time he meets me. Must inform the National Security Guard. Till then Alvida Na Kahe Na
WHAT?!!! that was my reaction when my jaggery village, lonely soul friend informed me about her intention to be part of the "Horsy Thing". I understand that she is Ms. Lonely but that does not mean that out of sheer frustration you will decide to do "horsy thing". I did try to ask her about the stuff and she guided me to "our lives are open book - Orkut". I almost fainted, thankfully there was an oxygen cylinder at hand and I could revive my breathing. My wannabe actress friend from the East coast of India also wants to do the "horsy thing". And for the activity, they have chosen none another a naive, homo phobic north Indian guy. God be with him and it certainly will be his endurance test!!! My friend informed me that the date for the activity has been decided upon. It will take place on Christmas Eve. How Holy and unabashed my friends are! Well look at the bright side, my firends will be contributing to the reincarnation of Jesus Christ. Reminds me of Christmas carol..."Jesus Christ is coming to town". Hark Ho Angels!!!
My 9th floor friend tried his luck to get lucky once again. This time, he went to India Gate with a young bird in skirt. He bought her ice-cream and decided to go for a walk. By that time time his friend joined him and the young lady. But lo behold, my friend found himself isolated as his friend and the young lady disappeared behind the bush!!! Dont lose hope my friend, you can also have your "Horsy Thing"...when the time comes. For the time being play dark room dark room with MALES on Sunday evenings!
I am in august company these days. My paedophile hashikhusi friend is on the prowl again. Last night, he has zroed in on his next prey. But it is rather amusing to see him making the first move. His very characteristic behaviour made one of his prey get married within two months of his meeting.
There is not much on the agency front these days. i am getting hate calls and remove blog calls. So much so, an ex colleague has said that he is going to kill me the next time he meets me. Must inform the National Security Guard. Till then Alvida Na Kahe Na
Monday, November 20, 2006
Sunday, November 19, 2006
Tuesday, November 14, 2006
What’s there in a name!
What’s there in a name!
The other day I was reading an interesting blog that was dedicated to the various names of Bengali families. The author mentioned how Bengali families painstakingly go through the rigmarole of finding the most difficult name so that their child stands out. It is true Bengali names by themselves are not only tongue twisters but are also teeth-breaking. But hilarious are the pet / nicknames.
The genesis of the endearing names cannot be ever found and also they are meaningless. But calling them the individual by their pet names can be quite embarrassing in public. Take for instance Byaga, Hadu, Chandu, Putul (DOLL) and too for a boy! Much to the chagrin of the individuals, their pet names become their identity. Maybe such weird and nonsensical names can be attributed to the dysfunctional family planning of yesteryears. On an average Bengali households (influential & well-to-do) had seven siblings. Add the same from the cousins and brothers living in a joint family, the number could add up to fifty / sixty in a family! How do you remember their names and what names to you give them? That’s when the likes of Bhuja, Jota, Khadu, Bocha, Nelu, Felu, Fendu, Nontu, Khogen etc. Mind you, they used to rhyme also.
The Bengali families of yesteryears were very broad-minded too! More often than not, mother-in-law and daughter-in-law used to share….no no no not the same man, but the same labour room. Imagine MIL delivering a child while DIL delivering to make MIL a grand mother. Hats off to you grand old ladies of fashionable Bengali households! A friend of mine, settled in London and working with a news agency, gave me a very useful insight about deliveries of yesteryears. In her words, “an aunt of mine was in the final month when, one day she had to rush to the toilet. She sat down and due to sheer pressure; the child came out and dropped in the pot”. That is the beauty of INDIAN STYLE toilets. Not only the husband was spared hospital costs (if there were any) but also named the child Hego. My friend has promised to introduce me to her “potty faced” cousin, when we meet in Calcutta this December. Just cannot wait to meet the person…must carry some good cologne with me. A note of caution to my 9th floor friend, don’t use India style toilets, you never know what the outcome might be.
Last night had a wonderful time at Flavor’s – the Italian restaurant. It was quite intriguing to find a friend of mine DRUNK after consuming a bottle (pint) of beer and noticing how another friend (a lady) had used lipstick…for a change. He went on to comment about her eye-liner before being offered to be kissed by her. I was waiting with baited breath but my male friend chickened out! Well, the closest he would have come to being pecked by a lady, but the moron that he is, coiled under the table in shame. Trait of a true, voyeuristic bangali!
I am planning to host dinner this Saturday. Please bring your poison, food and chairs to sit. And mind you, using of my toilet is a strict NO NO. I suggest you make arrangements for that also.
The other day I was reading an interesting blog that was dedicated to the various names of Bengali families. The author mentioned how Bengali families painstakingly go through the rigmarole of finding the most difficult name so that their child stands out. It is true Bengali names by themselves are not only tongue twisters but are also teeth-breaking. But hilarious are the pet / nicknames.
The genesis of the endearing names cannot be ever found and also they are meaningless. But calling them the individual by their pet names can be quite embarrassing in public. Take for instance Byaga, Hadu, Chandu, Putul (DOLL) and too for a boy! Much to the chagrin of the individuals, their pet names become their identity. Maybe such weird and nonsensical names can be attributed to the dysfunctional family planning of yesteryears. On an average Bengali households (influential & well-to-do) had seven siblings. Add the same from the cousins and brothers living in a joint family, the number could add up to fifty / sixty in a family! How do you remember their names and what names to you give them? That’s when the likes of Bhuja, Jota, Khadu, Bocha, Nelu, Felu, Fendu, Nontu, Khogen etc. Mind you, they used to rhyme also.
The Bengali families of yesteryears were very broad-minded too! More often than not, mother-in-law and daughter-in-law used to share….no no no not the same man, but the same labour room. Imagine MIL delivering a child while DIL delivering to make MIL a grand mother. Hats off to you grand old ladies of fashionable Bengali households! A friend of mine, settled in London and working with a news agency, gave me a very useful insight about deliveries of yesteryears. In her words, “an aunt of mine was in the final month when, one day she had to rush to the toilet. She sat down and due to sheer pressure; the child came out and dropped in the pot”. That is the beauty of INDIAN STYLE toilets. Not only the husband was spared hospital costs (if there were any) but also named the child Hego. My friend has promised to introduce me to her “potty faced” cousin, when we meet in Calcutta this December. Just cannot wait to meet the person…must carry some good cologne with me. A note of caution to my 9th floor friend, don’t use India style toilets, you never know what the outcome might be.
Last night had a wonderful time at Flavor’s – the Italian restaurant. It was quite intriguing to find a friend of mine DRUNK after consuming a bottle (pint) of beer and noticing how another friend (a lady) had used lipstick…for a change. He went on to comment about her eye-liner before being offered to be kissed by her. I was waiting with baited breath but my male friend chickened out! Well, the closest he would have come to being pecked by a lady, but the moron that he is, coiled under the table in shame. Trait of a true, voyeuristic bangali!
I am planning to host dinner this Saturday. Please bring your poison, food and chairs to sit. And mind you, using of my toilet is a strict NO NO. I suggest you make arrangements for that also.
Thursday, November 09, 2006
Winds of Change
Winds of Change
Women empowerment is the order of the day. The fair sex has not only become liberal but more often than not, their actions are bold. There was a time, when women would tolerate mutely tortures from their respective husbands for society did not provide them security. Now, the tables have turned. Poor men folk are on the receiving end. And they cannot even protest!
Talking about women with liberal outlook, it is rathe fascinating how the movie FIRE has inspired the fair sex in the PR industry. As it is, we are always on FIRE, but for them the fire ignited from within is hard to compress and suppress. One the PR agency is rather broad minded and the women out there are not only on FIRE but also happy. Three couples come to my mind, who have defied the order of nature.
It is said unlike poles attract. There is this couple, lets say, Ms. Laurel & Ms. Hardy. Going by their pseudonyms, you can actually relate the size difference! Their dispay of intimate affection publicly in the office in no bone of contention. They are would whisper sweet nothing into each others' ears and suddenly either burst out laughing or shrieking. Both are unmarried, in mid twenties and have good lifestyle. When they dance, it reminds one of Shall We Dance. Ms. Laurel is the female partner and she says, "I want my partner to be aggressive and I enjoy being dominated at times".
The other couple is more classy. They do not publicly display any affection..uh oh...barring once. Both are married and one day when one lady was disturbed by the actions (WORK RELATED) of the other, the mother of one, walked up to the boss and kissed her right on the lips! What FIRE was ignited. I stood their shell-shocked. Alas, one of the partner then moved to Mumbai.
The third couple is the bindaas one. It will be wrong to pair them, for the lady imported by the agency from the west coast of India, does not reciprocate the the advances made by her potential partner. The CHAMELEON is more forthcoming with her directness on the subject and have made innumerable paases at the Lady from the West. Mind you, CHAMELEON is married with a child. I strongly suggest that she should now concentrate on another married lady who wears rather REVEALING clothes, which are more like "DRESS WITH NICE VIEWS".
Its great fun to watch two women fight. Every time I witness such incidents of hilarity, it reminds me of bustee women fighting for thier turn at the tap! Or pulling each other by their hair! Once Mamata Banerjee accused the then DCP of Kolkata (South) Mr. Pachnanda of biting her! Well I reserve my comments on the same, but people of Kolkata had their laugh of the day. Yesterday, in one of the agencies, two FEMALE GIANTS fought. They are similar in size (read BIIIGGGGGGG) and was on the verge of a physical fight. People in the room and in other parts of the office were pretty amused but the admin chap was not. He missed out on the fun part, because he had to remove the comps and other breakable stuff from the room. My Baby and Ms Beautiful smile, please grow up the way you two have grown physically!
Ladies, do keep the FIRE of alive!!!
P.S. - Due to time constraint, the Party of Jaggery Village could not be posted today.
Women empowerment is the order of the day. The fair sex has not only become liberal but more often than not, their actions are bold. There was a time, when women would tolerate mutely tortures from their respective husbands for society did not provide them security. Now, the tables have turned. Poor men folk are on the receiving end. And they cannot even protest!
Talking about women with liberal outlook, it is rathe fascinating how the movie FIRE has inspired the fair sex in the PR industry. As it is, we are always on FIRE, but for them the fire ignited from within is hard to compress and suppress. One the PR agency is rather broad minded and the women out there are not only on FIRE but also happy. Three couples come to my mind, who have defied the order of nature.
It is said unlike poles attract. There is this couple, lets say, Ms. Laurel & Ms. Hardy. Going by their pseudonyms, you can actually relate the size difference! Their dispay of intimate affection publicly in the office in no bone of contention. They are would whisper sweet nothing into each others' ears and suddenly either burst out laughing or shrieking. Both are unmarried, in mid twenties and have good lifestyle. When they dance, it reminds one of Shall We Dance. Ms. Laurel is the female partner and she says, "I want my partner to be aggressive and I enjoy being dominated at times".
The other couple is more classy. They do not publicly display any affection..uh oh...barring once. Both are married and one day when one lady was disturbed by the actions (WORK RELATED) of the other, the mother of one, walked up to the boss and kissed her right on the lips! What FIRE was ignited. I stood their shell-shocked. Alas, one of the partner then moved to Mumbai.
The third couple is the bindaas one. It will be wrong to pair them, for the lady imported by the agency from the west coast of India, does not reciprocate the the advances made by her potential partner. The CHAMELEON is more forthcoming with her directness on the subject and have made innumerable paases at the Lady from the West. Mind you, CHAMELEON is married with a child. I strongly suggest that she should now concentrate on another married lady who wears rather REVEALING clothes, which are more like "DRESS WITH NICE VIEWS".
Its great fun to watch two women fight. Every time I witness such incidents of hilarity, it reminds me of bustee women fighting for thier turn at the tap! Or pulling each other by their hair! Once Mamata Banerjee accused the then DCP of Kolkata (South) Mr. Pachnanda of biting her! Well I reserve my comments on the same, but people of Kolkata had their laugh of the day. Yesterday, in one of the agencies, two FEMALE GIANTS fought. They are similar in size (read BIIIGGGGGGG) and was on the verge of a physical fight. People in the room and in other parts of the office were pretty amused but the admin chap was not. He missed out on the fun part, because he had to remove the comps and other breakable stuff from the room. My Baby and Ms Beautiful smile, please grow up the way you two have grown physically!
Ladies, do keep the FIRE of alive!!!
P.S. - Due to time constraint, the Party of Jaggery Village could not be posted today.
Tuesday, November 07, 2006
DECIDE NOW
Life in a PR agency is great fun...only if you enjoy being rogered by your clients, journalists and not to forget the boss(es). The cauldron for gorom gorom gossip is something that lure the likes of me into the profession. I believe that one of my previous boss was in a fix recently. In Mumabi for some meeting or the other, the person's credit card bounced back. No no it was not because he did not have any credit left, the reason was "IT HAS BEEN SWIPED TOO MANY TIMES" and the magnetic strip was damaged. Poor soul went to the ATM and met the same fate. Dear Boss, please ensure that the STRIP is clean before you SWIPE it again.
There is this married woman who is after my life. Not that I mind, but her passion has increased to such extent that to get my attention, she went and chopped her hair! Every time I look in her eyes, I am confused...she changes her lens faster than a chameleon changes its colour. I am sure it helps her seduce some dumb journalists.
Staying on with the profession. One of the agency in the far flung corner of the city is fast losing its employees. Some of them are very smart and dedicated...should not have a problem find jobs. But poor agency, its going to lose some bright stars. But is it worth working in an agency that does not recognise the worth of it s people?
A journalist friend was in Mumbai recently to cover LIFW. This journo friend is unique. The length of my friend's nose can put Pinnochio to shame...you can actually locate my friend by the sheer length of the nose and if you have to move around in a crowded room ensure that you are next to my friend. The nose is often used as a Sherman tank. Well speaking about LIFW, an ad-sales manager of a leading website was refused invitations to after show parties and was even, rather endearingly called, a female dog!!! If i am to recall correctly, a "hashi khushi" photogreapher from an afternoon daily had clicked the ad-sales manager with rather revealing undergarment.
Its party time tonight. My friend of the 9th floor agency has decided to visit the salon to get a face lift. He thinks, he has a chance to get "lucky" tonight. Just to remind him, he has been waiting for the last 4 years to get "lucky" in Delhi...but everytime his wife came on the way.
Will keep you posted about the party
There is this married woman who is after my life. Not that I mind, but her passion has increased to such extent that to get my attention, she went and chopped her hair! Every time I look in her eyes, I am confused...she changes her lens faster than a chameleon changes its colour. I am sure it helps her seduce some dumb journalists.
Staying on with the profession. One of the agency in the far flung corner of the city is fast losing its employees. Some of them are very smart and dedicated...should not have a problem find jobs. But poor agency, its going to lose some bright stars. But is it worth working in an agency that does not recognise the worth of it s people?
A journalist friend was in Mumbai recently to cover LIFW. This journo friend is unique. The length of my friend's nose can put Pinnochio to shame...you can actually locate my friend by the sheer length of the nose and if you have to move around in a crowded room ensure that you are next to my friend. The nose is often used as a Sherman tank. Well speaking about LIFW, an ad-sales manager of a leading website was refused invitations to after show parties and was even, rather endearingly called, a female dog!!! If i am to recall correctly, a "hashi khushi" photogreapher from an afternoon daily had clicked the ad-sales manager with rather revealing undergarment.
Its party time tonight. My friend of the 9th floor agency has decided to visit the salon to get a face lift. He thinks, he has a chance to get "lucky" tonight. Just to remind him, he has been waiting for the last 4 years to get "lucky" in Delhi...but everytime his wife came on the way.
Will keep you posted about the party
Monday, November 06, 2006
Who says life is dull?
Thanks you to the internet, there is hardly a moment of dullness in our lives...or to be more precise in my life. A friend of mine, working in a leading advertising agency, called me this morning to say that he is dying. Now for someone who is usually ensconced on the ninth floor of his agency, my reaction was that he is contemplating suicide. But that can never happen, argued my reason, for he is petrified to hurt himself. I asked him whether he has been detected with AIDS, but there was a long pause. Thats when I realised that was an oxymoron...no I am not detailing out his private life because his wife is in the West and his brother inlaw stays with him. Anyways it was discovered that he overate and he was ill at ease because of GAS...after all bangali.
A Gurgaon based friend has been spreading malicious rumours about me. Now dealing with women is an art and over the years, so it seems, that I have mastered the art of antagonising them. This concerned VILLAGE lady says that I hate her...now pretty young lady, just because you pop up when I am working and have to ignore doesnt mean that I hate you. Women women women!!!
But she did reveal something astonishing about a technologically challenged friend. This concerned lady has been washing dirty linens (about cousins) in ORKUT thinking that Orkut is for private eyes only!!! Not to mention some other juicy stuff. I am too tempted to provide her id, but have to refrain for loyalty sake. Staying on with girls, my friend in Kolkata finally got an invite to a party. Well since it was hosted by balding or balded or clean shaven Ronnie, she was not too excited to go and took along her companion. Ronnie USED to throw fab parties once upon a time, when he was not so old. Wonder how his parties are these days. What I heard from reliable sources makes me think whether the party was actually "happening". Amongst the select celebrity Kolkata guest list present was none other than the most sophisticated, charming slum language user Arjun. And he is ignoring girls these days!!! The boy who ran after every bird in skirt without giving a damn about ccaste, colour, size or creed has finally opted for homosexuality? There is something wrong with Loudon Street I must confess.
A Gurgaon based friend has been spreading malicious rumours about me. Now dealing with women is an art and over the years, so it seems, that I have mastered the art of antagonising them. This concerned VILLAGE lady says that I hate her...now pretty young lady, just because you pop up when I am working and have to ignore doesnt mean that I hate you. Women women women!!!
But she did reveal something astonishing about a technologically challenged friend. This concerned lady has been washing dirty linens (about cousins) in ORKUT thinking that Orkut is for private eyes only!!! Not to mention some other juicy stuff. I am too tempted to provide her id, but have to refrain for loyalty sake. Staying on with girls, my friend in Kolkata finally got an invite to a party. Well since it was hosted by balding or balded or clean shaven Ronnie, she was not too excited to go and took along her companion. Ronnie USED to throw fab parties once upon a time, when he was not so old. Wonder how his parties are these days. What I heard from reliable sources makes me think whether the party was actually "happening". Amongst the select celebrity Kolkata guest list present was none other than the most sophisticated, charming slum language user Arjun. And he is ignoring girls these days!!! The boy who ran after every bird in skirt without giving a damn about ccaste, colour, size or creed has finally opted for homosexuality? There is something wrong with Loudon Street I must confess.
Thursday, November 02, 2006
Marry if you have to...Divorce you must
You gossip mongrels, please do not think I a writing about my friends. This is a serious forum and serious thoughts are expected. No washing of dirty linens (if you people wear any!) no swearing at each other (abuse is welcome) no sex talks (alas! action is not possible here). For Bongs - Do not say BARI JABO
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