The Marriage Season
Though I have nothing against marriage, yet the very thought of certain compulsions irk me to no end. Take for instance, you have to share your bed….that too for unknown period. To have a companion over the weekend or for a night is different but to wake up looking at the make-up lost face can be pretty terrifying and emotionally and mentally harmful, if seen for a prolonged period. Then comes the issue of the toilet. All the HAGU ma’s and Bari Jabo syndrome holders will be sharing the same toilet. How hygienic were the good old days when you carried the mug to the nearest field and returned to the bountiful Mother Nature what was legitimately hers. But after marriage, please be prepared to walk in to the toilet to discover the left over of the previous night’s delicious dinner floating and obnoxiously staring at you. Marriage also takes away your privacy in bed. Of-course I am NOT talking of sex. I am talking about emitting foul smelling gas. Though the smell is directly proportional to the last consumed meal, please remember that you have propriety right on the smell (even if it changes) and anyone else smelling it should not reproduce the same smell.
Keeping all these in mind, doubts pertaining to divorces are erased from my mind. By the time one is 23 Bong moms get hyper to get their daughter married. Well, mom who has a son does not lag behind. A prominent Calcutta club, patronised by mostly bong GHATER MORAS (on the verge of kicking the bucket) is the breeding ground for prospective matchmaking. One should see all the pishi mas and mashi mas (paternal & maternal aunts) resplendent in their ugliest of ugly saris with antiquated matching jewellery and mouthful of paan and jarda pondering over bio-data (from memory, as those kids formed part of their previous PNPC sessions) of innocent children to be nailed down.
I remember being part of one session a few years back. In hindsight it was hilarious. The girl’s mother, quite imposing because of her girth and height told her beautiful daughter (thankfully the beauty came from the grand mothers) that she has to meet someone with proven pedigree. The daughter was aghast for she thought her darling and ever-eager mother was getting her married off to some DOG. After much cajoling (and arm twisting by her mother…I think she fractured a few bones, in the process) she arrived in the hot-spot verandah of the club. The to be groom is a friend of mine and who due to peer and parent pressure has become of the most celebrated indecisive boy of our generation. He is a thorough gentleman and no pun intended. He has an equally imposing mother and by the end of the session both Ms. and Mr. were dog tired and embarrassed. I believe the mother of Mr. is still looking for a prospective demure bride. She was found inquiring about the pretty daughter of a prominent bengali industrialist. As for the mother, grandmothers and aunt of Ms., please read on.
The mother of Ms. is a desperate lady. O you sinful people with dirty mind…she is NOT desperate that way, but is desperately looking for a SIL. In exuberance to get the beautiful Ms. married, she was considering the proposal of getting Ms. married to a trade union leader’s nephew. So what even our present FM was a trade union leader at one point of time. But this trade union leader from Calcutta is known for his ability to lie. Dumb people LIE as not to tell what is not true but LIE as in LAY. My dear 9th floor friend, please do not squirm with jealousy for this man lie on the road to halt traffic. I sympathise with you Ms. One fine afternoon, the aunt of Ms. called me (she was about to board her flight) to find out about this “smart and intelligent” LOOKING business news channel anchor. Mind you her aunt was clueless about the boy, but decided to inquire for prospective matchmaking because she and Ms. mother liked him. I think they were interested because of their hidden love for him. The other day while speaking to Ms. grandmother, I was asked to provide information about a certain kiddo who is a practising (keep guessing….I will NOT divulge). I was quite stumped when asked about his year of birth. I stammered and stuttered most apologetically and gave her a certain year. I received a rather rude call from Ms. mother, informing me that my information pertaining to the kiddo’s year of birth was incorrect and that they were crestfallen. I recommend Lady of Girth and Mirth to please consult a certain lady in the club who resembles (pardon my language, dear readers) a bulldog.
But it is not only about prospective matchmaking that is quite tiresome, my chance meeting with a friend’s mother and mother in law (SAME LADY) was quite draining. I spoke to her …correction listened to her for about 15 minutes and out of which she praised her son in law for 13 minutes. Even the boy’s mother never spoke so eloquently about her son….it is quite challenging to have a MIL like his. I wonder what he does, when she actually visits them….and I am told that happens at regular intervals. No respite from MIL even abroad.
I just hope that the mother of Ms. does not read this….AMEN
Wednesday, December 20, 2006
Monday, December 18, 2006
Hibernating
Hibernating
Of-course not. I have been completely tied up, hence the delay. All of you can now leave your comments on the blog site and you do not have to have an id.
Let me start by updating the happenings at the recent do in Calcutta. And mind you it WAS HAPPENING. My friend who got married four months back decided to entertain his friends in style. He organized a boat party, though I am sure he would have loved to take all of us in the national carrier, which he flies with élan. I am NOT talking about KITES…though he was expected to fly that by an erudite gentle-lady on Lee Road. The boat party was great fun…to see friends drunk yet not falling into the Hooghly. How unfortunate. My hashi-khushi friend was drunk as usual but thankfully did not create any nuisance. No, hold on, he was sitting next to a flier who is associated with “fly the good times” and was constantly eyeing him but I can assure nothing transpired. Talking about this FLIER, my wannabe actress friend was completely smitten by him…more about that later.
For better part of the evening on the boat, I saw my ex morning walk companion fixed to a pretty dame. She must have had an over dose of him…the next day she did not venture anywhere near him. My dear ex morning walk companion, do contemplate as to why birds in skirts are not sitting on your lap for too long and flies away at the first available opportunity. Meeting old friends has its own unexplainable charm and more so when I bumped into my 9th floor friend in Cal. I have to dedicate an entire para to him.
By the time we hit the shore, there were quite a few who did not know what was going on. Hashi-khushi sped away with Mr. 9th floor running after him, my wannabe actress friend misplacing my mobile in her exuberance to take control of the situation, a friend walking up to my friend’s house groping in the dark while her mother threw a fit seeing him. Mr. Parsee was dancing all the way to the car without anyone singing, The Cuckoo did not know which car to take, as Mr. FAKE Will Smith was busy with the firangs. Mr. Golu of School told his wife that he drinks only when he is with his friends…translated “WE ARE SPOILING HIM”, Mr. Fat Turned Slim lost in his own world…whether to pick his wife for the after party or not, Mr. Footballer sporadically shouting in an alien language (sounded like German), Mr. 9th floor adding to all the confusion.
The theme of the evening was WATER. For the after party we went to a poolside pub and my dear readers you should have been there to see Mr. 9th floor in his element. He hugged and smiled at everyone, dropped his drink thrice (the hotel uses cheap plastic glass) and fell flat on his face. He was SMASHED. He wanted to eat at the coffee shop, but we took him to the most up-market restaurant at 4 am for his chicken bharta. I happily left the scene of party at 2 pm to drop dear FRIENDS alongwith wannabe actress, but had to return to the venue because my darling wannabe actress friend wanted to meet the FLIER again. She has a fascination for chengra looking men, though she insists that he lips are like SRK’s. I reserve my comment. Just for the record, both hashi-khushi and wannabe actress have one thing in common – both love CHENGRA MEN!
I will write more on the eventful Cal trip later, but for the moment let me sign off with some news on the agencies front. A dear friend has joined a new agency in the central part of the city. Congrats darling, please spend more time in the office than in the market across the road. Another dear friend from my ex ex ex office (I hope to have got that right!) has put in her papers….I am so happy for I know her next destination. All the best sweetheart. The four ft something is freaking out in the Jaggery Village…the tall balding partner of her agency asked her “How is the weather down there”? There are going to be some more people movements and some of the agencies are going to lose a few good professionals. Ofcourse to each his own, but then there are those who have never seen the world loves to be cocooned in their nests and speak ill of others. Oh by the way, Ms. Revealer, I am told you are dressing rather appropriately these days! I know there’s no one interesting to dress so less
So long
Of-course not. I have been completely tied up, hence the delay. All of you can now leave your comments on the blog site and you do not have to have an id.
Let me start by updating the happenings at the recent do in Calcutta. And mind you it WAS HAPPENING. My friend who got married four months back decided to entertain his friends in style. He organized a boat party, though I am sure he would have loved to take all of us in the national carrier, which he flies with élan. I am NOT talking about KITES…though he was expected to fly that by an erudite gentle-lady on Lee Road. The boat party was great fun…to see friends drunk yet not falling into the Hooghly. How unfortunate. My hashi-khushi friend was drunk as usual but thankfully did not create any nuisance. No, hold on, he was sitting next to a flier who is associated with “fly the good times” and was constantly eyeing him but I can assure nothing transpired. Talking about this FLIER, my wannabe actress friend was completely smitten by him…more about that later.
For better part of the evening on the boat, I saw my ex morning walk companion fixed to a pretty dame. She must have had an over dose of him…the next day she did not venture anywhere near him. My dear ex morning walk companion, do contemplate as to why birds in skirts are not sitting on your lap for too long and flies away at the first available opportunity. Meeting old friends has its own unexplainable charm and more so when I bumped into my 9th floor friend in Cal. I have to dedicate an entire para to him.
By the time we hit the shore, there were quite a few who did not know what was going on. Hashi-khushi sped away with Mr. 9th floor running after him, my wannabe actress friend misplacing my mobile in her exuberance to take control of the situation, a friend walking up to my friend’s house groping in the dark while her mother threw a fit seeing him. Mr. Parsee was dancing all the way to the car without anyone singing, The Cuckoo did not know which car to take, as Mr. FAKE Will Smith was busy with the firangs. Mr. Golu of School told his wife that he drinks only when he is with his friends…translated “WE ARE SPOILING HIM”, Mr. Fat Turned Slim lost in his own world…whether to pick his wife for the after party or not, Mr. Footballer sporadically shouting in an alien language (sounded like German), Mr. 9th floor adding to all the confusion.
The theme of the evening was WATER. For the after party we went to a poolside pub and my dear readers you should have been there to see Mr. 9th floor in his element. He hugged and smiled at everyone, dropped his drink thrice (the hotel uses cheap plastic glass) and fell flat on his face. He was SMASHED. He wanted to eat at the coffee shop, but we took him to the most up-market restaurant at 4 am for his chicken bharta. I happily left the scene of party at 2 pm to drop dear FRIENDS alongwith wannabe actress, but had to return to the venue because my darling wannabe actress friend wanted to meet the FLIER again. She has a fascination for chengra looking men, though she insists that he lips are like SRK’s. I reserve my comment. Just for the record, both hashi-khushi and wannabe actress have one thing in common – both love CHENGRA MEN!
I will write more on the eventful Cal trip later, but for the moment let me sign off with some news on the agencies front. A dear friend has joined a new agency in the central part of the city. Congrats darling, please spend more time in the office than in the market across the road. Another dear friend from my ex ex ex office (I hope to have got that right!) has put in her papers….I am so happy for I know her next destination. All the best sweetheart. The four ft something is freaking out in the Jaggery Village…the tall balding partner of her agency asked her “How is the weather down there”? There are going to be some more people movements and some of the agencies are going to lose a few good professionals. Ofcourse to each his own, but then there are those who have never seen the world loves to be cocooned in their nests and speak ill of others. Oh by the way, Ms. Revealer, I am told you are dressing rather appropriately these days! I know there’s no one interesting to dress so less
So long
Hibernating
Hibernating
Of-course not. I have been completely tied up, hence the delay. All of you can now leave your comments on the blog site and you do not have to have an id.
Let me start by updating the happenings at the recent do in Calcutta. And mind you it WAS HAPPENING. My friend who got married four months back decided to entertain his friends in style. He organized a boat party, though I am sure he would have loved to take all of us in the national carrier, which he flies with élan. I am NOT talking about KITES…though he was expected to fly that by an erudite gentle-lady on Lee Road. The boat party was great fun…to see friends drunk yet not falling into the Hooghly. How unfortunate. My hashi-khushi friend was drunk as usual but thankfully did not create any nuisance. No, hold on, he was sitting next to a flier who is associated with “fly the good times” and was constantly eyeing him but I can assure nothing transpired. Talking about this FLIER, my wannabe actress friend was completely smitten by him…more about that later.
For better part of the evening on the boat, I saw my ex morning walk companion fixed to a pretty dame. She must have had an over dose of him…the next day she did not venture anywhere near him. My dear ex morning walk companion, do contemplate as to why birds in skirts are not sitting on your lap for too long and flies away at the first available opportunity. Meeting old friends has its own unexplainable charm and more so when I bumped into my 9th floor friend in Cal. I have to dedicate an entire para to him.
By the time we hit the shore, there were quite a few who did not know what was going on. Hashi-khushi sped away with Mr. 9th floor running after him, my wannabe actress friend misplacing my mobile in her exuberance to take control of the situation, a friend walking up to my friend’s house groping in the dark while her mother threw a fit seeing him. Mr. Parsee was dancing all the way to the car without anyone singing, The Cuckoo did not know which car to take, as Mr. FAKE Will Smith was busy with the firangs. Mr. Golu of School told his wife that he drinks only when he is with his friends…translated “WE ARE SPOILING HIM”, Mr. Fat Turned Slim lost in his own world…whether to pick his wife for the after party or not, Mr. Footballer sporadically shouting in an alien language (sounded like German), Mr. 9th floor adding to all the confusion.
The theme of the evening was WATER. For the after party we went to a poolside pub and my dear readers you should have been there to see Mr. 9th floor in his element. He hugged and smiled at everyone, dropped his drink thrice (the hotel uses cheap plastic glass) and fell flat on his face. He was SMASHED. He wanted to eat at the coffee shop, but we took him to the most up-market restaurant at 4 am for his chicken bharta. I happily left the scene of party at 2 pm to drop dear FRIENDS alongwith wannabe actress, but had to return to the venue because my darling wannabe actress friend wanted to meet the FLIER again. She has a fascination for chengra looking men, though she insists that he lips are like SRK’s. I reserve my comment. Just for the record, both hashi-khushi and wannabe actress have one thing in common – both love CHENGRA MEN!
I will write more on the eventful Cal trip later, but for the moment let me sign off with some news on the agencies front. A dear friend has joined a new agency in the central part of the city. Congrats darling, please spend more time in the office than in the market across the road. Another dear friend from my ex ex ex office (I hope to have got that right!) has put in her papers….I am so happy for I know her next destination. All the best sweetheart. The four ft something is freaking out in the Jaggery Village…the tall balding partner of her agency asked her “How is the weather down there”? There are going to be some more people movements and some of the agencies are going to lose a few good professionals. Ofcourse to each his own, but then there are those who have never seen the world loves to be cocooned in their nests and speak ill of others. Oh by the way, Ms. Revealer, I am told you are dressing rather appropriately these days! I know there’s no one interesting to dress so less
So long
Of-course not. I have been completely tied up, hence the delay. All of you can now leave your comments on the blog site and you do not have to have an id.
Let me start by updating the happenings at the recent do in Calcutta. And mind you it WAS HAPPENING. My friend who got married four months back decided to entertain his friends in style. He organized a boat party, though I am sure he would have loved to take all of us in the national carrier, which he flies with élan. I am NOT talking about KITES…though he was expected to fly that by an erudite gentle-lady on Lee Road. The boat party was great fun…to see friends drunk yet not falling into the Hooghly. How unfortunate. My hashi-khushi friend was drunk as usual but thankfully did not create any nuisance. No, hold on, he was sitting next to a flier who is associated with “fly the good times” and was constantly eyeing him but I can assure nothing transpired. Talking about this FLIER, my wannabe actress friend was completely smitten by him…more about that later.
For better part of the evening on the boat, I saw my ex morning walk companion fixed to a pretty dame. She must have had an over dose of him…the next day she did not venture anywhere near him. My dear ex morning walk companion, do contemplate as to why birds in skirts are not sitting on your lap for too long and flies away at the first available opportunity. Meeting old friends has its own unexplainable charm and more so when I bumped into my 9th floor friend in Cal. I have to dedicate an entire para to him.
By the time we hit the shore, there were quite a few who did not know what was going on. Hashi-khushi sped away with Mr. 9th floor running after him, my wannabe actress friend misplacing my mobile in her exuberance to take control of the situation, a friend walking up to my friend’s house groping in the dark while her mother threw a fit seeing him. Mr. Parsee was dancing all the way to the car without anyone singing, The Cuckoo did not know which car to take, as Mr. FAKE Will Smith was busy with the firangs. Mr. Golu of School told his wife that he drinks only when he is with his friends…translated “WE ARE SPOILING HIM”, Mr. Fat Turned Slim lost in his own world…whether to pick his wife for the after party or not, Mr. Footballer sporadically shouting in an alien language (sounded like German), Mr. 9th floor adding to all the confusion.
The theme of the evening was WATER. For the after party we went to a poolside pub and my dear readers you should have been there to see Mr. 9th floor in his element. He hugged and smiled at everyone, dropped his drink thrice (the hotel uses cheap plastic glass) and fell flat on his face. He was SMASHED. He wanted to eat at the coffee shop, but we took him to the most up-market restaurant at 4 am for his chicken bharta. I happily left the scene of party at 2 pm to drop dear FRIENDS alongwith wannabe actress, but had to return to the venue because my darling wannabe actress friend wanted to meet the FLIER again. She has a fascination for chengra looking men, though she insists that he lips are like SRK’s. I reserve my comment. Just for the record, both hashi-khushi and wannabe actress have one thing in common – both love CHENGRA MEN!
I will write more on the eventful Cal trip later, but for the moment let me sign off with some news on the agencies front. A dear friend has joined a new agency in the central part of the city. Congrats darling, please spend more time in the office than in the market across the road. Another dear friend from my ex ex ex office (I hope to have got that right!) has put in her papers….I am so happy for I know her next destination. All the best sweetheart. The four ft something is freaking out in the Jaggery Village…the tall balding partner of her agency asked her “How is the weather down there”? There are going to be some more people movements and some of the agencies are going to lose a few good professionals. Ofcourse to each his own, but then there are those who have never seen the world loves to be cocooned in their nests and speak ill of others. Oh by the way, Ms. Revealer, I am told you are dressing rather appropriately these days! I know there’s no one interesting to dress so less
So long
Monday, December 04, 2006
Marriage & Marriage
Marriage & Marriage
I am tired...period! No no, its not because I am overworked and underpaid, but because of never ending late-nights that I indulged in the whole of last week. Am I complaining? NO
A dear friend tied the knot last week. When I received the invites, it mentioned three dos...sangeet, wedding and reception. By the time sangeet got over, it was time for the (unscheduled) pre-wedding party. The sangeet was quite happening. The bride got delayed by over two hours, because we reached her place one hour behind schedule and then decided to indulge on some Serbian liqueur. Man that was potent. Did not get a chance to feel cold after that.
When I walked in for the wedding, maintaining a healthy Delhi standard time and Air India schedule time, I was amazed to see my svelte friend who defies every physical law under the sun. She is a mother of two but still looks 18. Hmmm, I am still young...atleast at heart. When alcohol is around, alcoholics cannot be too far away. A friend almost walked back home in his drunken stupor, while another crashed out in the wedding-night bed! The Honeymoon room of the hotel does not seem to encourage weddings. Or else, why will a honeymoon room have two single beds!
A clean shaven friend of mine has landed with a chef's role. Nothing wrong with that...his 15 minutes of fame is on the way. But he has started hallucinating already that he is the star of tomorrow. Yes WILL SMITH get that notion out from your shaven head!
I was in the east coast for a couple of days, again to attend a wedding. But what I enjoyed the most was dining with a multi-talented (actress / director / producer / prop supplier / accountant / driver / health freak...cannot count any more) friend. We caught up on the missing links (NO FAMILY!) of "female dogging" about friends. Thereafter I went clubbing...please ignore my age. Needless to say, more than anything else, I enjoyed the company.
A junior from school and once-upon-a-time friend got engaged to film hero on Sunday. In our illustrious list of who's who, we have added another member. Welcome to the elite club, Mr. K and my best wishes to both of you. Speaking about engagement, I, by chance spoke to my 9th floor friend's ex girl-friend. The little brat did not tell his ex that he was married and now living with his brother-in-law. Oh God, you naughty readers, he is not "living" with his brother-in-law...they just share the same flat...amongst other things!
Back in the capital, I have been receiving congratulatory and best of luck calls...and that too on Sunday. Catching up with a four feet tall friend and treating her to hot chocolate fudge did make me feel like a grandfather. She jumped at the ice-cream counter five times to see the flavour of ice-cream! Grow up, darling.
The lady who regarded me as her "rakhel" is coming to Delhi tomorrow. Aaaaaaaahhhhhhh "Life's Beautiful"...and filled with lust. Amen
I am tired...period! No no, its not because I am overworked and underpaid, but because of never ending late-nights that I indulged in the whole of last week. Am I complaining? NO
A dear friend tied the knot last week. When I received the invites, it mentioned three dos...sangeet, wedding and reception. By the time sangeet got over, it was time for the (unscheduled) pre-wedding party. The sangeet was quite happening. The bride got delayed by over two hours, because we reached her place one hour behind schedule and then decided to indulge on some Serbian liqueur. Man that was potent. Did not get a chance to feel cold after that.
When I walked in for the wedding, maintaining a healthy Delhi standard time and Air India schedule time, I was amazed to see my svelte friend who defies every physical law under the sun. She is a mother of two but still looks 18. Hmmm, I am still young...atleast at heart. When alcohol is around, alcoholics cannot be too far away. A friend almost walked back home in his drunken stupor, while another crashed out in the wedding-night bed! The Honeymoon room of the hotel does not seem to encourage weddings. Or else, why will a honeymoon room have two single beds!
A clean shaven friend of mine has landed with a chef's role. Nothing wrong with that...his 15 minutes of fame is on the way. But he has started hallucinating already that he is the star of tomorrow. Yes WILL SMITH get that notion out from your shaven head!
I was in the east coast for a couple of days, again to attend a wedding. But what I enjoyed the most was dining with a multi-talented (actress / director / producer / prop supplier / accountant / driver / health freak...cannot count any more) friend. We caught up on the missing links (NO FAMILY!) of "female dogging" about friends. Thereafter I went clubbing...please ignore my age. Needless to say, more than anything else, I enjoyed the company.
A junior from school and once-upon-a-time friend got engaged to film hero on Sunday. In our illustrious list of who's who, we have added another member. Welcome to the elite club, Mr. K and my best wishes to both of you. Speaking about engagement, I, by chance spoke to my 9th floor friend's ex girl-friend. The little brat did not tell his ex that he was married and now living with his brother-in-law. Oh God, you naughty readers, he is not "living" with his brother-in-law...they just share the same flat...amongst other things!
Back in the capital, I have been receiving congratulatory and best of luck calls...and that too on Sunday. Catching up with a four feet tall friend and treating her to hot chocolate fudge did make me feel like a grandfather. She jumped at the ice-cream counter five times to see the flavour of ice-cream! Grow up, darling.
The lady who regarded me as her "rakhel" is coming to Delhi tomorrow. Aaaaaaaahhhhhhh "Life's Beautiful"...and filled with lust. Amen
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
